The kids in school are always telling me who they are related to. Up in these parts there are many trees that don't branch far. Those are my favorite stories. "I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. It sounds funny I know, but it really is so. I'm my own grandpa." Many students will be able to sing that song.
Today I had a cute, and less disturbing, geneology lesson.
Student: Mrs. Grant. Pocahontas was my Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandma.
Me: That's nice.
Student: That makes me 50% Indian and 50% Pilgrim. She married a Pilgrim, you know.
Me: Indeed, indeed!
HAHAHAHA. I really love 2nd Graders.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Have Holes - Will Fill
Yesterday, my Language Arts Class built "Puff Mobiles." These are "vehicles" that are built using a specific number of items. They are totally created by the imagination and skill of the builder. One of the items used was a straw. Some of the students used only a portion of their straws and so little bits dropped to the floor. In the clean-up process not all these pieces were thrown away. Which brings me to part 2 of my story.
In the afternoon, my match class was about to take their first "Math Fact Test." You would think that the students were taking the ACT or LSAT. They were so nervous about this. (Even though they were the +1 and +0 facts. How scary can that be?) As we were just about to start, one of my students begins to plug one nostril and blow air AND snot out the other nostril. He continues doing this at a rapid fire rate. Then he raises his hand and says, "Mrs. Grant. My nose hurts." In my mostdisgusted sympathetic voice I said, "Do you think you need a tissue?" He just looked at me.
Well, that was enough of a lull in the test taking process that now about 10 students need their pencils sharpened. I head back to the sharpener and have "The Nose" come with me. As he walks to the back of the room he says, "I have a straw stuck up my nose." blow blow blow blow blow
"You've gotta be kidding me!" I said right out loud. I told him that I would help him as soon as I got the students started on their tests. He smiled and continues to blow. Then he touched his nose and said, "I can feel it clear up here." That straw was way up there. That's when I realized this was a job for a pair of tweezers and not my tweezers. He would be visiting the Principal.
Three more pencils to go and we would be off to visit "the boss," as he is referred to by my students. "The Nose" grabs a new tissue and scrunches up his face, closes his eyes, and blows harder than he has ever blown before. Out shoots an inch long portion of a straw and plenty of boogers. Suddenly, "The Nose" says, "Hey it doesn't hurt anymore. Is it out?" To this a little girl that had been standing in the pencil line looks up at him and runs her left hand down her right arm and said, "YES," as she wiped all that snot away.
"The Nose" smiled and skipped back to his seat while the little girl and I got some soap, water, and anti-bacterial gel.
Awww! Never a dull moment in 2nd grade.
In the afternoon, my match class was about to take their first "Math Fact Test." You would think that the students were taking the ACT or LSAT. They were so nervous about this. (Even though they were the +1 and +0 facts. How scary can that be?) As we were just about to start, one of my students begins to plug one nostril and blow air AND snot out the other nostril. He continues doing this at a rapid fire rate. Then he raises his hand and says, "Mrs. Grant. My nose hurts." In my most
Well, that was enough of a lull in the test taking process that now about 10 students need their pencils sharpened. I head back to the sharpener and have "The Nose" come with me. As he walks to the back of the room he says, "I have a straw stuck up my nose." blow blow blow blow blow
"You've gotta be kidding me!" I said right out loud. I told him that I would help him as soon as I got the students started on their tests. He smiled and continues to blow. Then he touched his nose and said, "I can feel it clear up here." That straw was way up there. That's when I realized this was a job for a pair of tweezers and not my tweezers. He would be visiting the Principal.
Three more pencils to go and we would be off to visit "the boss," as he is referred to by my students. "The Nose" grabs a new tissue and scrunches up his face, closes his eyes, and blows harder than he has ever blown before. Out shoots an inch long portion of a straw and plenty of boogers. Suddenly, "The Nose" says, "Hey it doesn't hurt anymore. Is it out?" To this a little girl that had been standing in the pencil line looks up at him and runs her left hand down her right arm and said, "YES," as she wiped all that snot away.
"The Nose" smiled and skipped back to his seat while the little girl and I got some soap, water, and anti-bacterial gel.
Awww! Never a dull moment in 2nd grade.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
That's Absolutely WRONG!!!
After last year I was ready for a calm and easy 180 days. The first four days seemed quite blissful - 23 sweet, smiling, and happy children. They smile and raise their hands and play kindly with each other. What could be better? Adding one more adorably cute little girl. She came on Friday, just to see her teacher and find her room. She'd begin on Monday. Poor little thing. Her mom had just died and now she had just moved in with her dad and grandmother, leaving behind her friends and a little brother who was off to live with his father. How sad is that? But, within time, she would heal. A few hugs and smiles and kind words and she would be okay. Right?
Well, no! Life is never that easy. Her mother hadn't just died. While she was out playing in the yard, her mother had decided this life was too hard and her only solution was to end it. When my student came into the house, her mom was missing. Thinking that she was playing, she began a game of Hide and Seek. She found her hanging in a closet. "I tried to wake her up. She was always joking and playing with me. But, this time she wasn't. She wouldn't wake up." That's the conversation we had on our first day together when she asked if anyone else in her class had lost their mom. What do you say to that? How can I help heal those wounds?
Her range of emotions has been exhausting and quite overwhelming! She cries then glares. She sobs and then lashes out at anyone near her. She ties her shoes together and then blames it on friends that aren't there. She sticks her head inside her backpack as if she is hiding from reality. She stares at a picture of her mom all day long or places it on the floor and tries to squash it under her shoe. It is all totally unpredictable.
So, everyday, I wonder what she will be like. Will she be willing to do any work today? Will she cry? Will she scream? Or will she be just like all the other girls? No. She will never be like the other girls. And, what do I do to help that sweet girl?
Never expected this!
Well, no! Life is never that easy. Her mother hadn't just died. While she was out playing in the yard, her mother had decided this life was too hard and her only solution was to end it. When my student came into the house, her mom was missing. Thinking that she was playing, she began a game of Hide and Seek. She found her hanging in a closet. "I tried to wake her up. She was always joking and playing with me. But, this time she wasn't. She wouldn't wake up." That's the conversation we had on our first day together when she asked if anyone else in her class had lost their mom. What do you say to that? How can I help heal those wounds?
Her range of emotions has been exhausting and quite overwhelming! She cries then glares. She sobs and then lashes out at anyone near her. She ties her shoes together and then blames it on friends that aren't there. She sticks her head inside her backpack as if she is hiding from reality. She stares at a picture of her mom all day long or places it on the floor and tries to squash it under her shoe. It is all totally unpredictable.
So, everyday, I wonder what she will be like. Will she be willing to do any work today? Will she cry? Will she scream? Or will she be just like all the other girls? No. She will never be like the other girls. And, what do I do to help that sweet girl?
Never expected this!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
First Week of School
Here are just a couple of the funny things that have been said this week.
1. I was trying to help a student get to the right bus.
Mrs. Grant: Where do you live?
Student: I don't know.
M.G.: What do you live by?
Student: You know that house with the fence?
M.G.: Maybe.
Student: I don't live by it.
2. Each student has a homework sheet that is signed each night by the parents.
Student: Mrs. Grant my dad can't write so well.
M.G.: Oh that's okay. Parents are always so busy that they have to write really fast.
Student: Well, my dad writes sloppy because his legs don't work.
Funny kids!!!!
1. I was trying to help a student get to the right bus.
Mrs. Grant: Where do you live?
Student: I don't know.
M.G.: What do you live by?
Student: You know that house with the fence?
M.G.: Maybe.
Student: I don't live by it.
2. Each student has a homework sheet that is signed each night by the parents.
Student: Mrs. Grant my dad can't write so well.
M.G.: Oh that's okay. Parents are always so busy that they have to write really fast.
Student: Well, my dad writes sloppy because his legs don't work.
Funny kids!!!!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Important Safety Rules
Each May, the EMTs from our county come to visit the 2nd graders. They talk about safety rules for cars, bikes, scooters, four-wheelers, and water. They used to give out bikes, helmets, bells, etc. but with the budget cutbacks that hasn't happened for the last two years. This year the the students did get coloring books and a little pack of crayons.
The EMTs ask the students to draw safety pictures (that no one even looked at). The safety rules could be anything of their choosing, as long as it was something to help you stay away from danger. The usuals were there like "Wear your safety belt" or "Wear a helmet." But two of them caught our attention. A bit unusual but still important were the rules of "Always hold on to the saddle" and "Don't hit the old man."
Consider yourself warned!
The EMTs ask the students to draw safety pictures (that no one even looked at). The safety rules could be anything of their choosing, as long as it was something to help you stay away from danger. The usuals were there like "Wear your safety belt" or "Wear a helmet." But two of them caught our attention. A bit unusual but still important were the rules of "Always hold on to the saddle" and "Don't hit the old man."
Consider yourself warned!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Three New Stories
I don't know, but maybe you won't even find these funny if you aren't in school everyday and aren't looking for some humor among the chaos. I, however, thought these were worthy of remembering (and my book, when I am retired). By the way, none of these happened in my classroom but they all did happen at my school.
1. The teacher was teaching singular possessive nouns and put a sentence on the board. The students were to decide where the possessive nouns was and then fix the sentence. The sentence read, "The soccer teams game was called off." One astute student raises his hand and says, "That's not the name of the soccer team. They are called the Cougars." hahahahaha
2. The P.E. teacher had put up with one older student always making fun of the other students when they couldn't catch the ball. Or the boy would throw the ball in a manner that the ball couldn't be caught and then he would ridicule the student that had missed it. So, the P.E. teacher decided to teach this "bully" a lesson. He threw the ball to the boy so that he couldn't catch it. Sure enough he missed it, but it did smack him right in the face. The P.E. teacher felt horrible and ran up to the boy. Immediately the boy checks his teeth and then says, "I could make a lot of money here." The P.E. teacher says, "Awe, suing is just for people who are mean," thinking that maybe this wasn't a very good lesson after all. The boy looked at him, quite inquisitively, and said, "What? Haven't you ever heard of the Tooth Fairy?" hahahahahaha
3. The first grade has been talking about Dr. Seuss, since his birthday is on March 2nd. One of the classes has read "There's a Wocket in My Pocket" several times. So, a little girl decided to bring her "wocket" to school with her. Her "wocket" was a little white mouse, stuffed up her sleeve. She probably could have kept it there all day without anyone noticing if she just hadn't gotten hungry. She got off the bus and headed to breakfast. As she tried to eat her sausage biscuit the little mouse decided he wanted some too and crawled out of her sleeve to get a bite. Quickly she pushed him back into the hiding place. Once again he came out for a little nibble. But, this time one of the teachers just happened to walk by and spy him. Carefully (I would have screamed and jumped up on the nearest table, which would do no good because she was sitting at the table and the mouse wasn't on the floor. So what good would it have done to be on a table?) this very kind teacher cradled the mouse in her hands (bluck, bluck, bluck - gagging sounds) and walked to the office where they so kindly placed it in an empty kleenex box with some soft cotton to keep it comfy until mom could come. Unfortunately, mom was not going to come because she couldn't be reached.
So, here was our poor secretary with a mouse in a kleenex box beside her all day. When night came the mouse was still here. Some wise person said to put it inside a tall plastic container so that it could not escape. Good thing because there were a lot of little mouse droppings in the container when the office personnel returned in this morning.
A couple new students came to register for school today. They were so excited to see that our school had a "School Pet" that they can't wait to come back tomorrow. Hopefully it will be gone by then.
1. The teacher was teaching singular possessive nouns and put a sentence on the board. The students were to decide where the possessive nouns was and then fix the sentence. The sentence read, "The soccer teams game was called off." One astute student raises his hand and says, "That's not the name of the soccer team. They are called the Cougars." hahahahaha
2. The P.E. teacher had put up with one older student always making fun of the other students when they couldn't catch the ball. Or the boy would throw the ball in a manner that the ball couldn't be caught and then he would ridicule the student that had missed it. So, the P.E. teacher decided to teach this "bully" a lesson. He threw the ball to the boy so that he couldn't catch it. Sure enough he missed it, but it did smack him right in the face. The P.E. teacher felt horrible and ran up to the boy. Immediately the boy checks his teeth and then says, "I could make a lot of money here." The P.E. teacher says, "Awe, suing is just for people who are mean," thinking that maybe this wasn't a very good lesson after all. The boy looked at him, quite inquisitively, and said, "What? Haven't you ever heard of the Tooth Fairy?" hahahahahaha
3. The first grade has been talking about Dr. Seuss, since his birthday is on March 2nd. One of the classes has read "There's a Wocket in My Pocket" several times. So, a little girl decided to bring her "wocket" to school with her. Her "wocket" was a little white mouse, stuffed up her sleeve. She probably could have kept it there all day without anyone noticing if she just hadn't gotten hungry. She got off the bus and headed to breakfast. As she tried to eat her sausage biscuit the little mouse decided he wanted some too and crawled out of her sleeve to get a bite. Quickly she pushed him back into the hiding place. Once again he came out for a little nibble. But, this time one of the teachers just happened to walk by and spy him. Carefully (I would have screamed and jumped up on the nearest table, which would do no good because she was sitting at the table and the mouse wasn't on the floor. So what good would it have done to be on a table?) this very kind teacher cradled the mouse in her hands (bluck, bluck, bluck - gagging sounds) and walked to the office where they so kindly placed it in an empty kleenex box with some soft cotton to keep it comfy until mom could come. Unfortunately, mom was not going to come because she couldn't be reached.
So, here was our poor secretary with a mouse in a kleenex box beside her all day. When night came the mouse was still here. Some wise person said to put it inside a tall plastic container so that it could not escape. Good thing because there were a lot of little mouse droppings in the container when the office personnel returned in this morning.
A couple new students came to register for school today. They were so excited to see that our school had a "School Pet" that they can't wait to come back tomorrow. Hopefully it will be gone by then.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Attendance Issues
Seriously, if you've got a kid, you've gotta be smart enough to know that sending them to school is the best thing for them. In fact, if you aren't going to send them to school, or REALLY home-school them, then don't have kids. If you can't get out of bed in the morning to send them to school, and expect your 7 year old it do it themselves, then you shouldn't have brought that sweet child into your life. (I hope that hasn't offended anyone.) Be a parent for heaven's sake.
Ok, that's what I've wanted to tell some parents. Attendance can be such an issue at schools. Our funding is based upon attendance. Also, my worth as a teacher is based upon the students progress in school. If the students don't come, I can't teach, and hence, those parents aren't only messing with their kid's life, they are messing with mine. AND I DON'T LIKE IT!!!! In our school district there is a 10 absence policy per semester. If the student is absent more than that they are to be referred to the Magistrate Judge for truancy. Now, if their is a health problem, or a huge two week vacation on a cruise to Alaska and Hawaii (which has happened) that is one thing. But, if it is just because the parent couldn't get up, then that really ticks me off.
One student in my class had missed 13 days last semester. He didn't ever have the swine flu but his sister did have the stomach flu and an older sister broke a wrist. Why that kept him home I don't know. Our new semester started last week (7 days ago). And so far, he has missed 5 days. Why? His parent's checked him out early last Monday (last week) and he didn't come back until Thursday. Why? Well, they ran out of gas in Idaho Falls. Grandpa couldn't bring them gas until Tuesday night. So, the family got a hotel room (remember they couldn't buy gas) and spent the night. They got home at 9:30 Tuesday night. That was too late to wake him up at 7:30 for school the next day. Instead, he woke up at 7:45 to watch cartoons all day. This week, he has surgery on Wednesday and hasn't been able to come to school Monday or Tuesday. But, he has been outside playing in the snow each day. I know. I got the report from other students in my class and I drove by their house and saw with my own eyes.
This is just a funny (and sad) story. Our secretary calls the homes of all the absent students. Yesterday she called the home of a 3rd grade boy. His mom answered and said, "We are all sick. Everyone in the family has a fever and is still in bed. Could you please send home his homework? And, could you also send home ____'s (2nd grade sister) homework? She is really not feeling good." Then Martha said, "But, (sister) is here." Mom, "What? She's there?" This was about two hours after school has started. The teacher checked for a fever and she did have a whoppin' 99 degree fever. So, the teacher sent her home and I saw her pedaling her little bike back down the road. Come on. It had been two hours and you weren't missing your 7 year old.
Okay. I feel a lot better after having spouted all that out. Whew! This blog is good for my health.
Ok, that's what I've wanted to tell some parents. Attendance can be such an issue at schools. Our funding is based upon attendance. Also, my worth as a teacher is based upon the students progress in school. If the students don't come, I can't teach, and hence, those parents aren't only messing with their kid's life, they are messing with mine. AND I DON'T LIKE IT!!!! In our school district there is a 10 absence policy per semester. If the student is absent more than that they are to be referred to the Magistrate Judge for truancy. Now, if their is a health problem, or a huge two week vacation on a cruise to Alaska and Hawaii (which has happened) that is one thing. But, if it is just because the parent couldn't get up, then that really ticks me off.
One student in my class had missed 13 days last semester. He didn't ever have the swine flu but his sister did have the stomach flu and an older sister broke a wrist. Why that kept him home I don't know. Our new semester started last week (7 days ago). And so far, he has missed 5 days. Why? His parent's checked him out early last Monday (last week) and he didn't come back until Thursday. Why? Well, they ran out of gas in Idaho Falls. Grandpa couldn't bring them gas until Tuesday night. So, the family got a hotel room (remember they couldn't buy gas) and spent the night. They got home at 9:30 Tuesday night. That was too late to wake him up at 7:30 for school the next day. Instead, he woke up at 7:45 to watch cartoons all day. This week, he has surgery on Wednesday and hasn't been able to come to school Monday or Tuesday. But, he has been outside playing in the snow each day. I know. I got the report from other students in my class and I drove by their house and saw with my own eyes.
This is just a funny (and sad) story. Our secretary calls the homes of all the absent students. Yesterday she called the home of a 3rd grade boy. His mom answered and said, "We are all sick. Everyone in the family has a fever and is still in bed. Could you please send home his homework? And, could you also send home ____'s (2nd grade sister) homework? She is really not feeling good." Then Martha said, "But, (sister) is here." Mom, "What? She's there?" This was about two hours after school has started. The teacher checked for a fever and she did have a whoppin' 99 degree fever. So, the teacher sent her home and I saw her pedaling her little bike back down the road. Come on. It had been two hours and you weren't missing your 7 year old.
Okay. I feel a lot better after having spouted all that out. Whew! This blog is good for my health.
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