After last year I was ready for a calm and easy 180 days. The first four days seemed quite blissful - 23 sweet, smiling, and happy children. They smile and raise their hands and play kindly with each other. What could be better? Adding one more adorably cute little girl. She came on Friday, just to see her teacher and find her room. She'd begin on Monday. Poor little thing. Her mom had just died and now she had just moved in with her dad and grandmother, leaving behind her friends and a little brother who was off to live with his father. How sad is that? But, within time, she would heal. A few hugs and smiles and kind words and she would be okay. Right?
Well, no! Life is never that easy. Her mother hadn't just died. While she was out playing in the yard, her mother had decided this life was too hard and her only solution was to end it. When my student came into the house, her mom was missing. Thinking that she was playing, she began a game of Hide and Seek. She found her hanging in a closet. "I tried to wake her up. She was always joking and playing with me. But, this time she wasn't. She wouldn't wake up." That's the conversation we had on our first day together when she asked if anyone else in her class had lost their mom. What do you say to that? How can I help heal those wounds?
Her range of emotions has been exhausting and quite overwhelming! She cries then glares. She sobs and then lashes out at anyone near her. She ties her shoes together and then blames it on friends that aren't there. She sticks her head inside her backpack as if she is hiding from reality. She stares at a picture of her mom all day long or places it on the floor and tries to squash it under her shoe. It is all totally unpredictable.
So, everyday, I wonder what she will be like. Will she be willing to do any work today? Will she cry? Will she scream? Or will she be just like all the other girls? No. She will never be like the other girls. And, what do I do to help that sweet girl?
Never expected this!
Oh that rips my heart out! I can't imagine what must be going on inside her head if what's going on on the outside gives any indication.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she needs a break from school?
Maybe she is placed in your path so you can make a difference. But, oh what a load she must be. It can only get better, right? Please tell me she is getting therapy.
Good luck. I hate to say it but if any of my kids ever struggled like that I would want them in your classroom. You are amazing.
Bless her little heart and yours as you guide her with your wisdom, kindess, and spiritual maturity.
ReplyDelete