Three New Stories

I don't know, but maybe you won't even find these funny if you aren't in school everyday and aren't looking for some humor among the chaos. I, however, thought these were worthy of remembering (and my book, when I am retired). By the way, none of these happened in my classroom but they all did happen at my school.

1. The teacher was teaching singular possessive nouns and put a sentence on the board. The students were to decide where the possessive nouns was and then fix the sentence. The sentence read, "The soccer teams game was called off." One astute student raises his hand and says, "That's not the name of the soccer team. They are called the Cougars." hahahahaha

2. The P.E. teacher had put up with one older student always making fun of the other students when they couldn't catch the ball. Or the boy would throw the ball in a manner that the ball couldn't be caught and then he would ridicule the student that had missed it. So, the P.E. teacher decided to teach this "bully" a lesson. He threw the ball to the boy so that he couldn't catch it. Sure enough he missed it, but it did smack him right in the face. The P.E. teacher felt horrible and ran up to the boy. Immediately the boy checks his teeth and then says, "I could make a lot of money here." The P.E. teacher says, "Awe, suing is just for people who are mean," thinking that maybe this wasn't a very good lesson after all. The boy looked at him, quite inquisitively, and said, "What? Haven't you ever heard of the Tooth Fairy?" hahahahahaha

3. The first grade has been talking about Dr. Seuss, since his birthday is on March 2nd. One of the classes has read "There's a Wocket in My Pocket" several times. So, a little girl decided to bring her "wocket" to school with her. Her "wocket" was a little white mouse, stuffed up her sleeve. She probably could have kept it there all day without anyone noticing if she just hadn't gotten hungry. She got off the bus and headed to breakfast. As she tried to eat her sausage biscuit the little mouse decided he wanted some too and crawled out of her sleeve to get a bite. Quickly she pushed him back into the hiding place. Once again he came out for a little nibble. But, this time one of the teachers just happened to walk by and spy him. Carefully (I would have screamed and jumped up on the nearest table, which would do no good because she was sitting at the table and the mouse wasn't on the floor. So what good would it have done to be on a table?) this very kind teacher cradled the mouse in her hands (bluck, bluck, bluck - gagging sounds) and walked to the office where they so kindly placed it in an empty kleenex box with some soft cotton to keep it comfy until mom could come. Unfortunately, mom was not going to come because she couldn't be reached.

So, here was our poor secretary with a mouse in a kleenex box beside her all day. When night came the mouse was still here. Some wise person said to put it inside a tall plastic container so that it could not escape. Good thing because there were a lot of little mouse droppings in the container when the office personnel returned in this morning.

A couple new students came to register for school today. They were so excited to see that our school had a "School Pet" that they can't wait to come back tomorrow. Hopefully it will be gone by then.